Saturday, May 29, 2004

I'm bored out of my brains.. managed to grasp the bare essence of doing nothing. I'm watching Sleeping Beauty on video tape now, the princess is so pretty! She's my favourite of all the disney princess'. Hee. I know Darren's favourite is the Little Mermaid, cause she only wears 2 shells. Haha. I wonder if i'll get to see him when he's back on holiday, i don't think so though... but i can dream can't i? Heh. I do hope i get to see dennis though, he should be coming home soon. Miss him rather much, szeling does too. I know how much he misses his bak chor mee and his dates with ling. Come home soon dennis!!

Jac's in new york now, she's gone to "survey the land". Babe! don't forget to come home!! But then i think i will be in LA when she comes back, looks like we'll have to meet up when i'm back then. She'll be leaving for Cornell soon after that, i hate it when people leave, HATE IT! Well, cest la vie! Candice is in hospital due to dangue fever. Stupid mosquito. Went to visit her yesterday, she doesn't seem toooo sickly, so i guess that's a good sign. Hope she'll be out of there soon. I don't like hospitals at all.

Went to meet a few of my classmates for dinner yesterday. There were the guys, shop, yanlin, ling and yanzhen. Man, it's sooooo difficult to go out in such a big group, especailly when everyone has different interests. But the good thing is that i get to see my classmates whom i haven't really conversed with in the entire semester. Of course, Alden was there too, so that was a bonus. Haha. Well, according to 4K he likes the watch really much, imagine how my heart swelled when i heard it. My heart swells for the absolutely wrong reasons. *bleahz*

Know 2 nights ago when nat was here to watch american idol, i drove her home!!!! YAY! i made it! Are you proud of me?????? Hee hee hee. I'm so proud of myself. Fantasia won the american idol.. surprise surprise. Duh. Clay is just so cute!!!!! I LIKE! hee hee hee. *beams* ANYWAY, when i got home from sending Nat home, i spoke to 4K on the phone until 4am, it was quite an enriching conversation. It's the 1st time i spoke to 4K on the phone. I'm going to remember it forever. Haha.

Well, i think out of all the holidays i've had, i've seen the most of alden this holiday and as the say in macdonalds.. "i'm loving it." hahaha Pun intended. i wonder is we'll get to see each other next sem, maybe TP will be evil mand give us completely different timetables again. I really should get used to it huh? Nvm, i will have to get over it sonner or later.

ANYWAY. I will be off the the states on monday morning at 6.30am on a 22 hour flight. Pray i don't go mouldy on the plane... i don't think they could stand the smell of decomposition. So i think i'll blog when i get back from the states. Miss me in the meantime!!! It'll be back to school soon. SIAN!



Tuesday, May 25, 2004

" In our family portrait we look pretty happy, we looked pretty normal, lets go back to that."


Sunday, May 23, 2004

My eyebags are enormous. This is what you get for not sleeping more than 4 hours a day. It was Aileen's birthday yesterday and we had a bbq. It was fun actually. The food was good, it was edible and therefore i ate alot. Thus i am very fat. Anyway, had a few friends over even though it was aileen's thingy. Szeling was over, Alden, Shiqian,Alvin, Nat and her Collin and then later my night kahkis! Quite i diverse group i would say. Glad that collin didn't look too out of place, he was actually alittle involved in the conversations and laughing along at our lack of intelligence. Was feeling quite bad towards my night kahkis though. They only came for awhile, and poor kiwi had nothing to eat cause the stupid security guard came to chase us away from the bbq pit. So he survived on cake and marshmellows. Which was quite a pity cause the food was good. Oh well. Kiwi sent szeling home cause it was late, thank goodness, otherwise i really don't know how she'd get home.

Yeh, then Alden, 4k and alvin decided to stay over. I don't know how come suddenly also and it's even funnier cause it was alden's suggestion. Think most would know that things between alden and i are not exactly peachy, there's this sense of akwardness, so i was quite surprised that he wanted to stay over. Hmm. Yeh, so it was 3 guys and me in my cramped messy room. I took the bed for myself, naturally, cause i don't think any of the guys are close enough to me to be sharing the bed, 4k claimed the wall and alvin took the chair, but eventually migrated to the mat to sleep beside alden. Yeh, alden was the one who wanted to stay over but he's the 1st one to fall asleep. Lousy. I spent most of the night talking to alvin and 4k, but we all gave in and went to sleep about 5am. Slept till 6 then they decided to go home, alvin was half dead. As for me, i went back to sleep when they left but woke up 1.5 hours later for sunday school.

Guess what?! After i pulled my butt and eyebags out of bed and showered, the sms came to tell me that i didn't have to go to sunday school today cause my kid has taken ill. Man! i could have slept for another 2 hours at least! but now that i'm all nice and showered with my hair wet, i can't go back to sleep. Talk about sleep, know alden doesn't really move when he sleeps and he sleeps with a frown and he curls up too! So cute right? Haha. Then i think he was feeling cold cause the aircon was on, so i took my trench and covered him. Know what, next time i want my boyfriend or husband to cover blanket for me. Hee hee. Esther would know. I think it's such a soft and intimate gesture that says so much. NOT relavant to me covering for alden ok... NOT. What can i say, he's just so cute. Hee hee. He cut his hair since the last time i saw him. Good. I like him better with short hair. Don't ask me if i still like him. I don't know. I'm not feeling anything towards him, neither positive nor negative.. numb. Which could actually be a very good thing. Otherwise, it's just all very confusing.

OK, it's about 9am now, i'll have about 1 hour and 45 mins before going to church for 11.30 service. what shall i do... hmm. I'm just thinking about kiwi and his big walk this moring. Think he started out at 6am when he was still at my house at 1am.. this fella really just doens't need to sleep i tell you. Amazing. Alright. i think i'll go laze around in bed for awhile.. feeling sleepy still. like DUH right? Since when isn't dawn sleepy. zzzzz... *blink blink* Later!

oh yeh, papa's going off to paris tonight... going to be lonely ard here. Shucks. No money and alone, that's not good.


Friday, May 21, 2004

Which is easier, facing it or running away? Admitting it or living in denial? To let yourself love and get hurt or suppressing the feeling until you burst? It's probably a very odd time now to be talking or thinking about this cause ultimately, it doesn't really matter with respect to myself, because there isn't anyone to love. Then there comes the question, "is it better to love or to be loved?" I suppose i'm feeling alittle sentimental and nostalgic today. Have you ever wondered what the 3 greatest things that changes a person are? To me, i think it's God, love and money. Is love actually a good thing? I mean love can drive people insane. Sometimes you love someone so much you just snap when he breaks your heart. Then slowly, weird emotions build up and you start doing stupid things. Maybe that isn't love anymore. You think?

Sometimes my feelings are jumbled up so bad, i can't tell one from another, this sort of induces a state of numbness. This is going to sound so cliched but it really feels like a dream. Kinda just floats past you. Like nobody experienced it or was involved in it except you. Am i making sense? Like you're the only one hurting from the experience and no one else is. Maybe these experiences make you cynical. They make you less able to express your feelings to ohters, your true feelings i mean. Sometimes you have to disguise it, making it all sound platonic to protect yourself while still showing affection. But then again, it might really just be platonic cause you kinda don't feel anything anymore. Sometimes that's a good thing cause then you'll never get hurt. It's like a wound, when the same area has been hurt over and over and over again, it just stops hurting, the nerve ends are damaged and you'll never feel again. I don't know, just thinking about the past again. What does it matter now. What i am to you is the best that i could be. Maybe sometimes that just isn't or wasn't good enough.


Wednesday, May 19, 2004

I'M BACK! Did you miss me?? haha. The weather is really hot and humid, very much different to what i experienced in the past 8 days, where it was cold and dry. Don't ask me which one i prefer cause i really can't decide. Though i think heat is much easier to deal with. Well, it really has been a refreshing 8 days, i think i'm rejuvinated now, not as moody and forelorn as before i left. I've missed all of you! Hope you missed me too! haha. Feeling REALLY poor now, so if you're going to ask me out, be prepared to pay for me, cause i'm REALLY down to my last dollar. Nat was quite amused i think. I've never been this poor in my whole life. Must eat grass. Have to jian fei also, think i ate alot of rubbish in Oz, got to get rid of it. Haha. OK, lets talk about the trip. It's going to be a really long blog post today, so try and bear with me. Heh.

We arrived at Sydney 1st. I'll have to say that Sydney looks really disorganised and unmaintained. The roads are confusing man! There was this day that Nat and i were looking for "Pitt St Mall" and nat was reading the map and we were trying to follow the signs, but we just couldn't find it. Seriously, i was frustrating. Got to say that i've definitely gotten fitter after sydney man. The very morning we touched down in sydney, we walked for about 1hr up slope to find this recommended breakfast place. It's called "Bill's" and it's located on "433 liverpool street." So, Nat and i walked from our hotel to liverpool st and walked from no.1 liverpool st all the way up to 433 liverpool st and yes, it was up a really steep slope. Dawn has not exercised in a long time, therefore, it wasn't very funny. The thing was, we finally found it and decided not to eat there cause it looked too posh and high class. Shit. So we walked all the way back down the slope and ate at some cafe. The food was good. It really was. Had this yummy avocado chesse melt thingy and a cup of coffee. It was great. *slurp* But food in australia is REALLY expensive and full of carbo! Though they come in really big servings. After that, Nat and i took the train to circular quay, where The Rocks and the Opera House is.

Did you know that the trains in Sydney are double decker? Cool huh? Think we were looking quite swaku. Haha. Trying so hard not to look like tourists. Hee. Circular quay was nice. The view of the sea and the harbour bridge and the opera house was so nice. There were like a million seagulls in the area though. haha "Mine mine mine mine". The most memoriable thing about circular quay was the SUPER yandao fella at the news agency!!! Oh man! Nat and i were so dazzled by him know! We were conspiring to go back and look at him but decided not o be so pathetic. Haha. Then there was this sweet making demonstration. Know the rock sweets that come in all sorts of flavours? It's really impressive how they make it. Cool stuff. OH! There was also "The attack of the seagulls". This stupid group of highschool students were there on excursion, and they threw this piece of bread in our direction, and this group of seagulls flew to us! Man! It was quite scary know! So that night, Nat and i were feeling revengeful, we had pigeon of dinner. haha. Quite nice. I'm quite sorry to say that i really preferred chinese food in Oz, tasted so much better, everything else was just meat and potato. Anyway, for those who are more adventurous and rich, it takes about 3 hrs to climb the Harbour bridge and costs about 155 aussie bucks. Nat and i freaked at the price, so we didn't climb it. But it would have been cool.

Of course the shopping was nice, though everything is just really expensive. I spent almost all my money in sydney, forgetting that i'm still going to melbourne. Stupid. I blew 440 bucks in one shop alone alright and it was only 3 tops and a pair of shoes. But they're really very nice!! Really really. Next time i show you. But the sales girl was really product inducing as well... couldn't help it. Heh. BUt I was truely horrified when i had to pay. It was not funny at all. Felt SUPER poor after that. In our stay in sydney we went to quite a few shopping malls larh, like Queen victoria building, Harbourside... quite a few, i can't really remember, for greater detail, you guys read Nat's blog. Haha. Another thing to remember was meeting up with Sock yue! It was kinda weird actually cause i haven't spoken to her since sec school, but the 3 of us got along really well. Quite surprised that she hated Aussies.. oh well. Nothing beats home i guess. Went to her house at Neutral Bay, it's a suburb of sydney. Man, she's really independant. I don't know if i could do it. But then we went to eat this SUPER DUPER GRUPER DUPER yummy mud cake at this cafe near her house. Can't quite remember the name. But the cake was DROWNED in chocolate sauce. It was like drinking chocolate soup! After that felt damn fat. Argh. Actually, i felt quite thin in Oz, cause alot of people are bigger than me, but now i'm back here. Darn it. OH OH! Nat and i saw this super slim and tall model doing a shoot in the city. Her legs are as long as me can?! Shit man! But she's cool larh. The weather so cold, and she was clad in shorts, plus she's so skinny. Maybe i'm just lousy, cause Nat handled the cold alot better than me.

Of course, who could forget the sand dunes!!! It was sooooo fun! We went sand boarding. Hee hee. Though i would much rather have preferred to do the quad biking, but no time see. Super fun!!!! Though climbing up the samd dunes really could have killed me. Cardio exercise ok! Not funny! I thought my heart was going to stop pumping or something. Tiring! But trust me, it really was very fun! HAve to go if you're in sydney. Then we went to see the dolphins in the wild. Was kinda boring cause they might just choose not to turn up, since they're wild. But it was cool overall. Not forgetting cold! Cool stuff. Hee hee.

Although sydney was fun, Melbourne for me was more memoriable for more reasons than one. Most importantly, met up with my dear dennis and darren as well. Haiz, was so filled with a sense of nostalgia it was suffocating. It was so nice to spend time with dennis again, missed him so much as a few of you would know. That boy is not taking care of himself, he hasn't been sleeping. Dennis! If you're still reading up to this point, you really ought to sleep more and eat more! Anyway, dennis took time to spend with us despite his tight timetable, it was very nice of him. Even stayed over with us at the hotel, didn't mind my snoring. Haha. There was this day that we went over to dennis' place in south yarra and he cooked us dinner! Cool right? Next time my husband must be able to cook too, since i'm useless. Dennis' shall cook for us again when he's back here. Bet szeling would wanna try. Heh. Then we went underwear shopping with dennis too! I think he was quite horrified with the amount that Nat and i bought. Haha. I don't blame him. I was quite horrified at myself too. Haha. But i've never been underwear shopping with a guy before, except my dad, so it was kinda cool. Haha. Though i think we were torturing dennis, he really looked quite dead. Walking around, following us shopping, rushing to meet us, rushing home. Really appreciate it dennis. Then on our last night in Melbourne, the 3 of us went to Crown casino to have dinner and dessert. The dessert at Cafe Greco was EXCELLENT! To die for, really. If i stayed in Melbourne, i'll go there everyday to have dessert man! We had a chocolate tiramissu and a mud cake, but the mud cake in sydney was better. Yummy! *burp* I just love desserts! You really have to see the cake display.... man.. no one can resist it. Should have taken photos of it.

We went to the strip club too. Haha. Well, not actually IN the strip club, just in one of those booth thingys. I still can't get over the tissue paper. MEN. Horny bastards. Haha. Oh well, was just curious, but yeh, it really was nothing. Don't know why some people say it's a beautiful sight. *shrugz* Anyway, on the other hand of beauty. The Great Ocean Road was really beautiful. Really. Was worth the 4 hour bus ride. The 12 apostles were just soooooo breathtaking. Took many many pictures of them, show you when i see you. It was really cold there. Really bao like ba zhang. Wearing long sleeves, a jumper, a trench and a scarf and i was still cold! I'm lousy larh. So fat still not enough insulation. It was great. Really. The view was excellent.

Yeh, then there was darren. The day that i had the worst hair in oz was the day i had to meet the man that changed my life. Great huh? There he was looking just so... so... great. That day just reminded me why i loved him so much and how horrible i felt when he left. He showed me this video of him at a party with him kissing this girl then i felt kinda weird. Was feeling soooooooooooo "full of thought" and nostalgic. The whole day was just thinking and thinking and thinking. About what we were in the past, what he said to me last time and what we are now. Yeh, he'll will always be the ideal one. I think i loved him. I think it's a tie btwn him and alden. Oh well. He gave me hug. A distant familiar feeling. Though it was far less personal. Oh well.

My room is in a ballistic mess now. Like my hotel room. Everywhere Nat and i go will end up looking like a warzone. even on the plane. Haha. Got to say thanks to nat for making my trip so enjoyable and for tolerating my snoring and my uselessness. It was so great. I really enjoyed the time we spent together nat. it's priceless. Thanks.

Oh well. I'm glad i'm back though. Miss my friends, miss my bed. Of course i miss darren and dennis too. Too bad i din get to see asha. Otherwise my trip would have been so perfect. Thanks dennis for making it so worthwhile. Yeh. Come home soon. what can i say now. Home sweet home.


Saturday, May 08, 2004

Damned results. Stupid stinking crappy undeserved results. I can't believe i did so badly. I'm going to study real hard next sem. ARGH! STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID result. or it could just be STUPID STUPID ME! !@#$% BAd results.


I'm quite surprised that i'm up so early, considering i slept at 5am this morning and it's not even 12pm now. But, it's truely something to remember. I was on the phone with ALDEN from about 11.30pm to 5am this morning. Know how rare that is? I haven't even spoken to him the ENTIRE semester. I think i only talk to him after results come out. It has been the trend since poly started. He did rather well. He managed to get himself a distinction for one subject. His dream come true. Good on him. My results are SHIT. I thought i deserved to do better for a couple of subjects, but i think it was project work that killed me. Only managed to bag a lousy C average. I was expecting B's for MCT, Heam and Mmic, cause i've been doing pretty well for these subjects. Aiyah. It's upsetting. But lets not be greedy. I'm so content and relieved that i passed everything. It's been such a tough semester for me to get through. I'm glad it's over. Just that eveyone else sis so well... and i studied know. Arh. Shit. But it's ok. In compensation, i get to talk to alden. So it's alright. Hee.

Will be leaving for Australia with Nat tomorrow night. I've finally gotten down to doing some packing, though i'm still far from finished. I'm feeling bad for leaving szeling behind. I think it's going to be a super sian week for her. Argh. I'm so horrible, going to have fun when my friend is not having the best time of her life. Sorry babe. I'll bring back something really nice for ya! I have been tasked to buy stuff, and my spending allowence has been cut cause i'll be going to LA soon after coming back from oz. Have to make do make do. Nat! make sure i don't over spend ok..?? It's something i am truely capable of doing. Yikes.

This week has been alot of going out. I went out yesterday with don again. Yes. Watch movie again. Watched Jiang hu (blood brothers). It's Andy lau and jacky chung. Not bad larh. Kinda like infernal affairs.. watch until don't know what's happening. Heh. Watched 3 movies this week, Beautiful boxer, helsing and jiang hu. All were good. I think i'm going to be missing Harry potter cause i'll be in LA. SHIT. Was soooooooo looking forward to it man. Nvm. We'll see.

Went out to play mahjong with the night kahki's yesterday. I really should learn how to play proper mahjong. Learn how to count the different ways of winning. It's pretty fun, though i'm really slow at stacking the tiles. Heh. Then as usual, we headed down to sempang to have supper. Man! the prata there is just super. *slurp* Getting fat. Really getting fat.

Anyway, i think i will go now, got to do some stuff. So i guess i'll post the next blog after my trip! Hee hee. Miss me cause i'll miss you. Man, 5 hours on the phone with alden last night... it was nice. It's all in the past, but it's nice. =)


Thursday, May 06, 2004

I've had a long day out today. Day started at about 1pm, met Nat for lunch and shopping. Lunch was goood... gud. Heh. Went to the xiao long pao place to eat. Yummy! We were super full after the meal. *burp* Was feeling EXTREMELY frivolous today. I think i haven't been this frivolous in a very long time, so you can imagine how bad it was today cause i usually am already bad enough. Nat and i went to trim our brows. It was quite painful, they used the tweezers instead of the shaver. But they did a neat job, so i'm not going to complain. But Nat's brow area looked quite swollen after the session. She says she's got thin skin, yeh, i think she does, it was really quite red. So i suppose i'm thick skinned, cause my brow area didn't swell as much. Heh. Then we went SHOPPING! I mean it. ok, i should say I went shopping. Bought alot of nice stuff. Hee. Nat's shopping inducing, cause she's really patient, so she'll wait for you and walk around with you and she won't complain. She's so nice. Then we met Jac later in the day.

Was good to see jac again today. Been some time. She's getting taller and thinner and prettier everytime i see her. NO FAIR! everyone just looks so good except me. Yeh, nat, jac and ling looked so nice. Oh! i bumped into sufen today too! She's looking good too... *grumbles* her hair is REALLY long and black. I miss my long hair..... =( my hair takes forever to grow out. Just have to be patient and not be so itchy hand. Szeling's hair is getting really long too... all got nice long hair. Nvm. I'll just wait... waiting. *bleahz* Then later in the evening, met ling for dinner and a movie. HELSING! woo hoo! Man! the show was good! Special effects and all were just FANTASTIC! Was really exciting, was not a single boring moment. The characters and all were really cool. Definitely worth the wait man. Good show good show. Though i didn't quite grasp the reason why dracula is dracula cause they were talking too fast. Hmm. might watch it again to catch it. heh. So many good shows coming out! 13 going on 30, confessions of a teenage drama queen, harry potter, shrek 2, eternal sunshine... many many! Must catch. Spending all my time and money on movies. Promised Esther to watch movie with her, so must. I've been neglecting her. Sorry babe! You've got to call me larh, cause i'm usually just too lazy. Sorry! But you know i love you right? Hee!

OH! There was this show i watched yesterday, Beautiful Boxer, it's a thai film. It's good too! Kinda makes you think and reminds you not to stereotype or dispise people who are different. It's about the life journey of this transvesite boxer, how he grew up and how he made others accept him being a transvesite by taking up boxing. Yeh. He's a guy and when he looks better than me when he's a woman. SAD OR NOT?! geez. Haha. Watched with donnavan, then went to play pool at monster. Haven't step foot in there for sooooo long, played better yesterday, at least i still can clear the table and win a few rounds. But as i always say... it isn't now like what it was then. Haha.

Anyway, i'm going on my trip on sunday, and i haven't started packing. Don't really know where to start or what to pack. Slowly larh. Still got time. Hee. Ok, i think i'm quite sleepy. Should go and sleep. Maybe i should be less of a bum tomorrow and go for a swim. See how. Heh.


Monday, May 03, 2004

Adrianne won the top model thing!! YAY! i was kinda rooting for her, i think she's so pretty. She's chor lor and spunky but she's sooooo good as a model. Am happy with the results. Ah hah. Anyway, i was watching TV the WHOLE day, besides being a slug. Went over to Nat's in the early afternoon. We were supposed to go out, but she wasn't feeling up to it, so i went over to slug around her house. We were just reading magazines and watching vcds and EATING. Didn't have much of conversation, but you know... the company speaks for itself. Heh. Our air tickets finally arrived. The thing is, we're still dwadling around and yeh, i've yet to find the luggage and have to dig out my sister's winter clothes. Dennis.. is it going to be really cold? I don't really know what to pack. Alternatively, i could just buy everything there. *Evil look* Nah, my dad'll kill me. Well, sunday is still a long time away.

Know i have this nagging headache. I woke up with it and it got worse later in the day, the i took panadol, it got better for awhile but now it's back again. So annoying. Maybe it's due to me sleeping too much and not doing anything and growing fatter with each day that passes. There was this other thing that kinda annoyed me today. Yazid's angry with me for something i said. I mean i know he already doesn't like me all that much, so abit more won't make much of a difference, but still! Alright, i probably shouldn't have said it, but i didn't mean it in the way he thought i did. So he kinda got abit sensitive about it. I really think i talk too much. I should just shut up more often. I really didn't mean it that way, but i think it's pointless trying to explain myself cause an opinion has already been formed. Oh well, there are bound to be people who dislike you, so i'm not too affected. Just that i really didn't mean it the way he took it.

The aircon people are coming tomorrow morning. I'll have to get up early so not to get in their way. Then again, i think i get up pretty early, considering it's the holidays. I shall be going out with donnavan tomorrow. I think he must really be bored to ask me out. If he had gotten his new game or his Xbox Live, i'm sure he won't be asking me out. The thing is, there aren't many good shows to watch now, considering i've watched most of them. I really don't know what to do if we don't watch movies. He's not the shopping sort, i offered to go cycling with him but he said it's up to me. So i think we go and watch show larh. Hahaha. If not it'll be kinda akward. I don't know, watch beautiful boxer or something. HELLSING is not open yet. That's the darn problem. I'm definitely going to catch that show. MUST! See, movie freak. I'm spending way too much money. *opps*

Anyway, Jac got a scholarship! I mean how great is that?! I'm so happy for her. Man.... if only i had such glory to my name. Ah hah. I'm here worried that i'll have to take supp papers. So shit. Hopfully i'll get the results before i go to Oz, it'll just completely spoil my trip if i got the sms there. HOPEFULLY i won't need to take supp papers. I'm not looking forward to using what's left of my degengerated brain cells. For those who haven't got their acceptance letters, don't worry ok? On the way on the way... be patient. Don't kan cheong yarh?

Ok, i think i will have to call szeling now, haven't really talked to her today, she's got to go to school tomorrow, so hopefully she won't be sleeping. Heh. Alright, till the next time!


Sunday, May 02, 2004

Sleepy......... woke up early today. Had sunday school duty. It was probably the best part of my day, besides the shopping, but one thing at a time. The sunday school kids are just soooooo adorable. The group was small today, they're all having exams. John was just soooo cute, he always is, he just loves to play with Abundance. He was hugging her and sayang-ing her, it was just so endearing. Then when John's father came to pick him up, he asked his dad if he could ask Abundance could go for lunch with them. So SWEET!!!!! Child innocence is so heartwarming. In case you didn't know, John's 13 and has downs syndrome and abundance is 4, she's autistic. So just imagine it. It's really really cute and sweet. =)

Esther was so nice as to accompany me for service today, cause i quite had no friend. Szeling had to work. To my pleasant surprise, Sharon and Laine came to curch today. Laine brought her new boyfriend. It's so sweet cause they were actually good friends in school. Yarh, can feel the loving aura around them. So sweet. His name is Richmond. He's cute. They quite got the couple look. Well done Laine! Hope it's a long lasting one for you. Sharon is getting really skinny. Lp.. please take care of yourself and don't get skinnier please.

Everyone is getting attached. I saw Wanyu on saturday with her boyfriend. Then i was like "oooookkkkkay...." then elaine and jac ng too. AIYARH! EVERYBODY larh! Sian all man. I think i really need to build lots of shelves. Nobody wants me!! Therefore i went for retail therapy. Tried to find a sweater, but the search was futile. But i still ended up spending over a hundred bucks. I bought 2 stila lipsticks and a book. I was feeling SUPER frivolous. The 2 lipsticks cost me like 85 bucks. I couldn't find a sweater today see.. so i just HAD to buy something. Nat and Ling are going to nag at me until my ears drop off. Supposed to be frugal. Going out with nat tomorrow somemore. Must control... CONTROL.

It has been brought to my attention that i haven't watched a movie with Nat in the past 3 or 4 years. What a revalation. I don't even remember exactly which was my last movie seen with Nat. We WILL get down to watching one soon. I'm such a movie freak these days. They don't even change the adverts within the intervals i watch them. I promised to watch "13 turning 30" with Esther. So i WILL. Shouldn't always pull my gay partner to watch chick flicks with me. I think it tortures him but he always obliges. I love chick flicks. Hee. There's hellsing coming out this week. i'm going to catch it. MUST!

Alright. I think i will go now. Getting sleepy. Had an early day. Next time!


Saturday, May 01, 2004

FAT. I AM FAT. Everynight go out to eat supper... FAT. I am going to be extremely hippopotamus like by the end of the holidays. So much for the Jian Fei part. Whole life only know how to say. *bleahz* ANYWAY. I just got home from supper. Yes. Again would be right. Went with the night kahkis. I'm feeling quite proud of myself. Managed to drive to fetch kiwi from kembangan, then drove to siglap and then drove the 2 ladies home, then drove myself home. I didn't get lost! YAY! Of course the credit goes to Fenny and Esther who were directing me the whole way, plus, i didn't look too retarded trying to park the car. Which is good. *beams* Haha. Kiwi drove himself home in my little car.. he kept saying that it's like daytona... so he thinks he's lorry very big then he very great larh?! Chey. Haha. But yeh, i think it's really quite different from driving a lorry. Heh. Talk about Kiwi, it was his 6th month anniversary today, so congrats Kiwi, you've made it so far. May you have many more months to come!

Hmm, to the 'neural serpent', don't worry too much yarh? Things will work out. Give it time. Think about what i said to you. Don't do things which are rash, be rational and sort it through. Just remember, ultimately, it isn't your burden to carry. There's only so much you can do or offer. Keep praying. God will make a way. If there's anything at all, you know you can always give me a call, even if it's 5 am in the morning yarh?

Anyway, i finally got my butt to the bank to run my errands. Szeling came over today, we were being couch potatoes. We were supposed to pig out on chocolate chip cookies, but i think we were both too full after lunch. We kinda became part of the sofa while watching matchstick men. It was a GOOD show. Teaches you not to misplace your trust, and even the closest people to you will betray you. It's a very important lesson in life. Only family is forever. Getting betrayed by the people so dear and close to you really sinks the ship. I would know. But lets not get sensitive here. Szeling enjoyed the show too. She helped my fix my computer today too! Thanks babe! My desktop doesn't look so messy anymore, my computer desktop i mean, my table top still looks like a junk yard. She had to go home for dinner though. She goes home for dinner often now, i think it's taking alot of effort, but yeh.. there are duties to fulfil.

I made my jie cry today. Am feeling rather bad about it. We didn't fight or anything. I suppose she felt that she was being left out and i kinda disappointed her too. Hit the raw nerve i guess. Argh. I'm such a moron. Should make up for it tomorrow. Should be nice to her as much as possible. In fact i think i should be nicer to my family members. My dad's face always changes when i tell him i'm going out at night. He doesn't say no to me.. and i guess i'm taking advantage of it. If my mum were here, she'd skin me alive and hang me upside down plus ground me for the rest of my life. Funny i know what my mum would do and i'm still out gallivanting. It's just an outlet for me, everyone needs an outlet.

Shall be meeting donnavan tomorrow to watch movie. We always watch movies. I'm turning into a movie freak! Every show also must watch. I'm disgusting i know. Whole life only know how to be frivolous and spend money. Haiz. I should really change my attitude. Think i'm growing up to be really spoilt. No good. Thank goodness i have friends to keep me in check. With spending and studying. Yeh. Alright, i think i will have to go and sleep now, otherwise i won't be able to wake up in time to meet donnavan. Goodnight all.