Uni has started. I Hate it.

My timetable is like shit. I Hate it.

I have a 3 hour lab that starts at 8am. I Hate it.

After the 8am lab, i have a break till 5pm where i have a 1 hour lecture. I Hate it.

My course mates are all so competitive and aggressive. I Hate it.

My house/ room/ dining table is darn dirty/messy and i have to clean up.

My car is super dirty, i have to go wash it.

My fridge has no more food left. I have to go and buy.

I just paid my rent. I have no money.

The weather is insane. It's making me feel really sick.

I want to spend an ENTIRE day not doing anything and just watch Kame. I arrive at my Happy Place when i'm watching him. It takes my mind off things.

I also want to have one of our long kopi sessions with Beng. She listens to me grumble and tells me how to deal with things.

I want to go over to Nat's. To roll around and veg out.

I wanna go home. Go shopping with my jie and watch DVDs together.

I want to go to sushi tei with Alvin. Can eat that yummy thing we saw the previous time.

I want to go to New York. Have endless conversations with my bestest.

I want Ling to come here. I wanna cook for her yummy food and bring her out to eat yummy food.

I just don't want to go to school. I don't want to be in school

I want to be a bum.

I want Kame.

I know he looks like a girl. I thought so too in the beginning (really, not bluffing. Ask Aileen.). You just have to see him act to appreciate him. It's hard to imagine i know.

I REALLY like Kame.

I really need to get over myself.

BENG!!!!!!!!! Come over please!!

I MISS MY RUSSELLY!!! Need i say more? RUSSELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The latest Kame drama ROCKS. I think it is so far my favourite Kame production. It's called Tatta Hitotsu no Koi. Watched 5 episode of it on youtube last night because my BLARDY DVDs are still not freaking here!!! This is one problem with online purchases!!! But it is SOOOO good. Kame's got it larh. Seriously.

Dennis is here in Perth till tomorrow. He arrived here early this morning. So yes, that makes 1 entire day. Haha. Well. No matter how short the stay, i am undoubtedly glad that he is here. Aside being a familiar face here in perth, dennis also brings me right back into my comfort zone.

I met Dennis through Nat, sometime way back in poly. How we manage to still be good friends amazes me sometimes. We can not see/hear from each other for months and months, btu somehow, it always seems like no time has passed since we last met. Perhaps it's all the good memories i share with him. He was the 1st friend i saw when my mummy passed on at 7am in the morning and i will ALWAYS appreciate that. The times he came over to my place for CNY and Christmas, the chill out sessions we had with Ling at Bakerzin and Coffee Club. Excursion to the Zoo. Waiting at the dentist 3 hours for his braces removal. Ice Cream at his house with Ling one faithful New Year's and Fish and Co with Wynn too. Long conversations in the car and at the poolside of my Simei house, enjoying the moonlight. Chats on the phone that last for hours into the night. Ringing him to wake him so he wouldn't miss his appointments. Dying his hair in my house toilet... all are fond memories.

Ah. It really is difficult to find someone you can truely be yourself with. I'm lucky to have a few. But i think Dennis is 1 or the 2 guys i am really really comfortable with. Have walk around the house with my face rotting and hair like shit and he wouldn't even care. I could eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's in front of the tv and he'd ask for a spoon. I could paint my nails in front of him and he'd let me paint his too. I'd roll around all day and he'd join me. In other words. He would not judge me for being ugly/lazy/vain/fat/all of the above. I am lucky.

Even though things have changed and circumstances are different. I can still trust him with my house keys, can still trust him to come running when i call and that is really something. Dennis is really something.

I wish you didn't have to go back to Melbourne dude. Gonna miss you heaps and heaps.

Happy Birthday Peiqi dearie!!

Of course, Happy Birthday Kame!!! Please let my DVDs come soon!!!

Love em love em love em!

Phew. I've managed to get through Chinese New Year in Perth without getting violent. Was really bummed that i couldn't spend it at home. Missed all the goodies! My favourite Hei Bi Hiam, pineapple tarts, love letters... was actually feeling quite sad. But! Last Friday, Sunita and i headed to Northbridge to get some ingredients for our CNY dinner and spied our greedy eyes on the yummy goodies!!! So we bought some and satiated our cravings and depression and homesickness! It was all good in the end.

Well, CNY for me does not come and go without my favourite Fish Maw soup! Of course, at home, i get it served to me in a bowl, cooked to perfection my my grandpa and Linda. Since i HAD to have it, had to cook it myself. So i did. I bought all the ingredients and started cooking from the min i woke up. Had to soak the fish maw and the dried scallops and boil the soup and stuff the fish maw. Man was it tedious. Aileen helped to stuff the fish maw. I thought the cooking would never end. Stir stir stir, wash the spoon, stir stir stir, wash the dishes, stir stir stir, wash the cup. !!!!!!!!!. I'm totally not meant to be a housewife. Which kinda sucks, cause it means i'll have to make myself go to work next time. Anyway, after like 4 hours of cooking... (i made sharks fin soup from stratch as well.. not just heat up the can ones ok..) it turned out to be really yummy! Therefore, i decided, i can actually cook. Haha.

Hosted dinner last night for my cell group. It was FANTASTIC. Having everyone over and eating and laughing together. I love it! It brings warmth to the house larh. Seeing everyone enjoying the food really felt great! We had a really scrumptous dinner! We had sharks fin soup and fish maw soup (made by dawnie), black sauce fish (curteousy of huifu), brocolli and choy sum (sunita's contribution) and golden mushroom+abolone (joint effort by huifu, sunita and dawnie). It was YUMZ.

Lets see... Huifu, Alvin, Jonathan, Rebecca, Angeline, Kenny, Adrian, Aileen, Sunita and Ho Man(he's leenie's cute hong kong classmate who decided to come and join us and he's REALLY cute) came for food. I was surprised that the food we prepared managed to feed the "army", cause i really wasn't expecting such a big group. I know now what it means by "God will provide". Seriously. It was rather amazing. Ah, whatever happened. I had a really good time at dinner last night and would definitely do it again. *nods*

Anyway right, it was my first time meeting Rebecca last night. She came with Jonathan, so i kinda assumed that they were in the same age bracket (which is 21 this year), cause i mean she soooooooo looked it. Then, when we were introducing ourselves at the table, she said she was 16 going on 17 and that she was a december baby. Which means she JUST turned 16. I was super shocked. You should have seen the look on leenie's face. Rebecca seriously does NOT look 16. Her heels are like higher than mine, she paints her nails like purplish red, her hair is like orange and she's tattooed. Is it legal to tattoo a 15 year old girl? Do they need parental consent? If so, which parent would consent to tattooing their 15 year old girl? If she didn't need consent, where did she get the money?? I was really surprised. Then she said.. "i don't wanna be young, cannot go clubbing." ?????!!!!!!! My goodness!! She's barely 16!! Enjoy your childhood man! Kids now a days. *shakes head*

It was also my first time meeting Ho Man. He's like super cute larh. If he were my age, i'd definitely enjoy looking at him. Haha. Aileen has been spending alot of time and energy talking to him and talking about him. Haha. She goes online everynight to talk to him and she smses him endlessly and she was so excited that he was coming for dinner. She wore her tinest shorts! Hahahahahahaha! I have to give it to him though. He only knew Aileen but he was still game to come over and have dinner with a bunch of strangers. Kudos man! To top it off, he spent the entire night talking to Aileen and was the LAST person to leave. Well, not exactly last last, he left together with Adrian cause Adrian was going to give him a lift home. Yeh... We'll see what happens with leenie and Ho Man. Hee hee *EXCELLENT* He's so cute larh!! The Hong Kong accent and all. So cute. Even sunita thinks so. Haha.

Yeh well. That's my CNY. It's back to school next week. So this is the last week i have to do absolutely nothing and not feel guilty about it. Really wishing and hoping that my Kame DVDs will com in this week. ARGH! Just thinking about them pisses me off! I ordered them like 2 weeks ago and i even had to email them to ask if they shipped it already! Pang Sai! What kinda business ethics is this?! Piss me off only. Argh. It better come this week. Don't buy from sensasia.com. They suck! I'm suffering from Kame withdrawal symptoms. Need my dose soon!

Alrighty. Back to doing nothing! LOVES IT.

Happy Birthday Mummy!!! I love you and miss you heaps!!!

Gong Xi Fa Cai everybody else!

I really really miss my friends. Really really really.

Shout out: Gerald! I don't know if you still come by here, but CONGRATULATIONS!! I hope you're going well!

I hate Valentines day. It annoys the shit out of me. HATE IT.

No. I am not over it yet. He still makes my day and i cannot cannot cannot wait for my new Kame drama to come in the mail!! One day, i'll look back at this and laugh. Till that day.. I really really really like Kame! Why hasn't KAT TUN done anything new?!! Pfffft.

Spending 3 months doing ABSOLUTELY nothing has brought my laziness to an all time record breaking level. I find even openning my eyes in the morning to officially wake up a chore now. It just takes too much effort! I just LOVE not needing to do anything. That's the kind of life i want. I feel like i have exhausted all my energy dealing with everything i have had to deal with in the past 5 years and i need another 5 years of doing nothing to recover from it. Why do we even need to go to work and earn a living, or study to get degrees when ultimately, everyone will just retire and with for time to pass before meeting our Lord. Why is the in between soooo messed up.

I left the house for the 1st time in 2 weeks today. I got up, got dressed, put on my face and actually drove us (aileen, sunita and myself) to the city to have a walk. It was so good to just get out and away from TV for awhile. Been glued to the TV so long that now i can't do anything without my glasses on. The TV is on from the moment i get out of bed to the time i go off to bed. That's how much of a loser i am. I have watched every dvd i own more than twice and i can picture each scene of the Kat Tun concert in my head. I do enjoy it really. I just wish i had company.

Once again i find myself question my choice of coming here to uni. I think it's because i have too much time to let my mind wonder. I keep thinking how different my life would be if i hadn't chosen to come to uni. Would it really be that bad working at home with my lousy diploma? Earning money isn't really a bad thing. But then again, being at home makes me feel really alone and really nostalgic. It's ironic i know, but that's how it is sometimes. When i'm here, in perth, i think about home and i know that people are happy when i'm home. Somehow, when i'm home, i can't seem to find the comfort i thought i would. I don't know how to explain it. It just is.

Well, one good thing about being lazy is the fact that i can fit into my size 10 pants again. I wore them out today and Sunita said that they were magic pants cause i looked skinny! hahaha "Skinny"! That is sooooooooooo not a word in my dictionary. I look the same, i just think i lost abit of weight cause i've been too lazy to feed myself. I basically get up at lunch time, roll around the sofa watching tv and wait for the feeling of hunger to pass till i go pick aileen up from school and make dinner after that. I only make dinner because aileen needs to eat, otherwise i think i'd continue rolling on the sofa allowing the new hunger feeling to pass. I really do need new shows to watch. Pfft.

ARGH! WHY AM I SO LAZY?!

I had a really weird dream last night. Or this morning rather... i dreamt of Esther and her Clay. I dreamt that they weren't together anymore (choy!) and i dreamt of Tuan Yi (nat's friend) and i dreamt of Darren. I wouldn't say that they are complete randoms, but i mean these people have not been around in my life for some time now, aside from esther. Just strange man. Really strange. I wish i didn't dream so much, i wake up feeling very tired and sometimes rather disoriented.

Anyway, O level results are out today. Guess Aileen's not feeling tooo concerned. I mean, i wouldn't if i were her. She's here already anyway. No point fretting right? But when i sent her to school this morning, she seemed completely calm and serene. Plus i don't think she'll do badly at all. She did appear to have studied really hard for the exams. After all, if her stupid head sister, me, could get 15 points after a 40 point prelim, i don't think she'll do worse than me.

O level result day always remind me so many events. It was prolly the one and only time my clique gathered in Sharon's house in anticipation. I remeber Jac getting slightly upset at her practically perfect results, Nat really happy she could stay in NJC, i remember my mummy crying tears of joy cause her 2nd daughter is not as useless as what it so often seemed. We all went to Cineleisure after results to the "glow in the dark" bowling alley and sharon flying together with the bowling ball cause she was soo light! I also remember having to head home early cause i was running a high fever and a few days later, ending up in hospital for pneumonia. That sickness changed my body system vastly man. After that time, i never had a "slight" fever, it always ran till the 40 odd degrees.

Of course, thinking back of all these events, recalling all the faces reminds me how fast time has flown us by. At the point in our lives, all we could see was completing poly/jc and going off to uni. That was all we had to think of in terms of future plans. Now that 6 years has passed us by... Those that went to JC will be graduating soon and who knows, maybe this valentines day, someone will get proposed to. We'll have to start thinking for ourselves, making our own plans, deciding our own choices.After graduation, not ANY job will do anymore, it'll have to be someting that draws a reasonable income, reasonable working hours, staff welfare benefits, will i earn enough to save for my future? To one day be able to afford a flat to live in with a possiblity of a husband and children? To earn enough to pay my bills and sustain a car. To be successful enough to have my own business, to be secure enough to support my sisters, dad and extended family in times of need. How far we all have come since O level results day.

I don't know if this classifies as growing up, or growing old. I remember Jac once wrote an award winning essay on this topic. It was really really well written and it's even published in a book. Everyone seems to already have their acheivements, something to look back on and feel proud. I'm still searching for mine. I can only hope that one day soon, i can become an Occupational Therapist that made a difference. That i will grow old having done something good in someone's life and not just growing up being this cynical, skeptical, resentful individual with no one to lean on.

Time is tricky isn't it. It takes so much of you away, but not really giving anything back. Not sure if i like it or not. *Shrugz*

The new school semester is approaching faster than i had hoped and i am surrounded by this aura of impending doom. As much as i whine about being bored, having nothing to do, with no dateline definitely beats waking up to the routine of uni every day. The irony is that i don't even know if i passed my supp paper. I will definitely need to call up my tutor to ask tomorrow. Already registered for classes and all that shit, it'll all be futile if i failed my supp. (CHOI).

It'll be Aileen's first day tomorrow. Hafta wake up early to send her to college. I wonder what she must be feeling. Even though she's made many friends at her orientation, i think the nervousness of the 1st day still gets her alittle stressed and anxious. Well. Beatshaving no friend to start with. Like me. My 1st day at uni was shit. Everyday in uni is shit. *bleahz* How am i going to go throught the next 3 years of it. I don't have much youth left!

Hayden came over today!! He's back in Perth. He came over to my place almost right after he arrived. Spent the entire afternoon chilling. Well, he sat in a corner and i sat in a corner and we were both just online not really talking to each other. But it was sooo great to see him again. Felt like a really really long time! To make things better, Tonya is back in perth too! Yay yay yay!! I feel more consoled knowing that i have friends now. It was so lonesome the past weeks. It's been almost a month since i came back to perth and i hardly stepped out of the house. Sunita's been really busy with getting a job and visa and all that other admin shit and aileen's been out with her friends. I just sit and watch TV all day and all night. I haven't even been watching regular tv. I think i should get back into my perth TV timetable. *nods*.

Well, i can't help imagining how Singapore looks like now. With the red and gold all over in anticipation of CNY. The irritating chinese songs that play in the shops...used to annoy me, but i miss it now. This is the 1st time ever, in my 21 years of life, i'm not home for CNY. It's weird. All the food and family and festivities... gonna miss that. Plus my Jie has to give ang pao this year, won't be there to see it. Guess it's really true, you don't appreciate things till it's not there. Having said that, i realise that time has really passed me by. I keep looking back on the CNY i had 2 years ago.It was the best EVER. Friends and i drank and laughed till the wee hours of the morning. I remember thinking that we could do this ever year. Sadly, i don't think we could ever do it again. People changed, dynamics changed, almost everything changed since then. Think the only thing that remained constant since then is the friendship between Ling, Beng, Fenn and myself. Everything else just faded away. *Sigh* No matter what. I love CNY and i hope everyone has a fabulous one.

Just a shout out. I know he doesn't read my blog... but it's Royston's birthday tomorrow! Happy Birthday Royston! I hope you have a lovely day and a wonderful celebration!

OK... i don't know how many still come round, but please tag to say hi, it seems so quiet lately! I know everyone is so sick of my Kame obsession and he appears so often here, but please just say hello to let me know you're still there ok? Love y'all. See ya!

Rumor has it that Kame has a girlfriend....!!!! Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My life is over.... NOT. I'll still like him no matter what. Only cause he's cute and so extremely talented.

Yummy Eggs Benedict! Me and Leenie bored at Bunnings.

Do i miss manicures and pedicures or what?! I miss my perfectly cut and polished red nails with crystals stuck pristine-ly on them. *sighs*

I Miss being frivolous.

Today's Kame picture. *pao smile*