Ben and jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough! SHIOK! I think i just ate like half a pint of it. I just couldn't stop. It's yummilicious! I'm going to fall really ill soon, i can feel it in my bones. My throat is acting up. Ran a fever again this evening, having persistent headaches. Don't know what's wrong. I haven't been watching alot of tv though i haven't really been sleeping well, but haven't been going out alot.. so i really don't know what's wrong. Oh well. Better sick now rather than when all the tests and exams come round. The worst is not being well enough to study but being well enough to go for the test.

September is really packed. I've got tests and quizes and lab tests going on all this month. It's only three more weeks of school for me, then it's exams and then it's attachment. Time is just FLYING past me and i'm not going along with it. Not good. I'm still struggling with my assignments and work, totally not prepared for revision. Wonder how people like kiwi manange to do it. He does it so well too. i'm only left with 5 weeks of school, 3 weeks more of lessons. I'm releived, but i'm scared. It's a big scary world out there. I think i'll miss school, though i don't think i've learnt very much. I've made a few great friends, and i'm so glad. I know that when poly ends, i'll prolly never talk or see alden again, but somehow that means so much less now. Szeling'll will prolly miss *ahem* but then again, who knows, something good might happen. I suppose i've matured the most through my poly life, the past 3 years have been quite cruel towards me. It was hard to get by but i've made it so far. Been a really resentful past 3 years. Should always look forward to a new beginning.

Know my dad just told me that he asked for a posting in Australia. I'm having mixed thoughts. It'll actually be a good thing for my future when i go over to study, but that also means having to leave everything here behind for awhile. I think if i left singapore, i'll miss it to bits. I'll miss my friends to bits. But a new environment for me is good. I think i need to breathe. Nothing is confirmed, so we'll just wait and see. I just hope my dad doesn't get posted to vietnam.. i don't think i can survive there. The culture, the environment, the food... please don't let it be vietnam! No offense to Dr Chang though, it's his homeland.

Talk about Dr Chang, he's been asking me to go for this camping/hiking thingy he organised for my cohort. They're going to taman negara for 5 days to rough it out. My inner square is going. I'm not. Can you imagine me roughing it out?! No way man! Not that i'm a prissy princess but i'm just so not a nature person. Plus i cannot stand 5 days in an area with a lack of advanced electricity and proper sanitisation. Cannot deal with the humidity and the muddy grounds.. my shoes will be ruined! Haha. Nah, that's not it, i'm sure it'll be LOADS of fun especailly since my inner square will be going together, but it's just so not my thing. Also, my classmates (alden, shiqian, selwin and others) have asked me to go with them to Redang for snorkling. Under usual and past circumstances, i would have immediately agreed, however, i cannot take the 9 hour coach journey there ( i suffer from mild motion sickness) and my sis is not keen on me going with alden cause she says he won't tkae care of me which i cannot deny, but not saying that i cannot take care of myself. In the past, i would have jumped at any chance to spend time with alden, but things are different now, i'm less dependent on him. Alot of people must be gald to hear me say that. Haha. The truth is, i only have 1 week between my exams and attachment, and i want to spend time with my friends. Like nat and my gang, been seeing so little of them. Then i have to catch up with alvin, and spend some real quality time with ling, and some time with my family, so i don't want to spend too much time away in that one week. Anyway, when dennis gets back, he's supposed to treat me to a trip to bintan! He lost our bet. Hahaha. I can wait till then. Or dennis, shopping in hong kong would be nice too. Haha.

I just found out from donnavan that there isn't lab tomorrow. We're on this rotation duty thing. We have to take turns in groups to clean the animal holding unit. It's a FOUL job. It's darn dirty and SMELLY! Everytime i walk in i feel like puking because of the smell. I'm bad with smells. Have to clean the rabbit cages, mouse cages and rat cages, it's a foul foul foul job. Which is another reason i don't want to continue with this course anymore. It's so not my kind of activity. I suppose if it wasn't assessed it'd be pretty fun cause we're doing it in groups, but since we are, it ain't so fun anymore. Talk about lab, i really have to start revising my lab skills. I have lab tests coming up, and i cannot remember all the different suture patterns. I was never good at emboidery or cross stich. My Aunt used to do it for me in pri/ sec school. Haha.

OH OH! I wanna show off i wanna show off! Hahahaha. Don't be jealous! My jie just bought me an ipod for my birthday! And a pink crumpler case to put it in! My jie's so nice. Hee hee hee. Don't ask me what i'm going to do with 20gig of space, i absolutely have no idea. Ali said, "you have 20 gig and you only put in 73 songs?!" See, i'm pathetic. But the point of telling you this is to show you how nice my jie is, not so much that i have an ipod cause yarh, i'm not too great with these things. Dawn is a shareful girl, so she will share her ipod with her sisters and her potential brother in law, after all, she does have 20 gig! Haha.

Once again i am left in the middle of nowhere. Once again i am left clueless about my stand in someone's life. Once again i feel like a total and complete idiot. Once again i want to dig a big hole and bury myself in it. Once again i have put myself out there and been made to feel like a fool. Once again i've gotten lost in the maze. Once again i'm going to say "once again". I really thought this could be something good, but now i think i'm going to walk away.

I need affirmation, i need a sign, i need a vibe, i need SOMETHING! ANYTHING! I'm not getting it. If i'm not getting a response, then why am i bothering? Now i can't turn back cause i've put myself out there and he knows it. GREAT. All those who agree that dawn is a moron please raise your hand. Thank you. I think so too. I said i missed him and he didn't reply!!! Excellent. what's that supposed to mean? What is he thinking? What should i do? What does he want me to do? This is all very deja vu. This sense of loss feels very very familiar. Shit. This is really shit. Am i thinking too much? This whole thing is so unsubstantial. I'm steering a boat that has no destination, just aimlessly cruising along hoping to come cross an open island. He's not opening his cards to me. He doesn't have to lay all his cards down on the table, just some! I need to know how to play. It IS a game. I suck at this game but i'm playing anyway, so help me along won't you! What is he scared of? If anyone is to be scared, it's me. I've never been this happy i have to admit. But it seems so shortlived. Should i just walk away or should i be patient? i just want to know.

Trust me, i have been on bad dates and really bad dates, but the one i had on tuesday was a GREAT date. It started at 3pm and ended at 12am, there wasn't a single awkward moment. It feels good to go out with a guy who's taller than you, sense of security know. Haha. It was nice. I think i was quite hitting on him, but he doesn't seem to mind it. We spent some time together again today, it was nice. He bought me dinner. The times we spend together alone just never seems to be enough. Maybe that's because we're seldom alone. Maybe he doesn't want to be alone with me? Whatever it is, i know i great date, i know a great guy, i know a great time and this is the closet i've come to it. Am i in "like"? I don't know, maybe not yet, just savouring the moments. I just know that i like to have him around, and i like to have him around ME. Talk about nice and SLOW. This is it. There's spriniting, running, jogging, walking and pacing, this is crawling. Nevermind. I'm not desperate, lets just wait and see.

Anyway. I went to colour my hair today. All the black roots were coming out, couldn't stand it. I went with Kiwi. He wanted to cut his hair. We drove all the way down to upper serangoon to have our hair done, we were 2 satisfied customers. Hee hee. Now we both have good looking hair. Was back in my old estate, it feels so good just being there. everything is so familiar. I knew exactly where i was and i knew exactly how to get around. It's comfortable to be famliar.

Oh oh! I'm addicted to the chocolate shake at BILLY BOMERS!!! They're FANTASTIC! Thick and sweet and chocolatey! Yummy! If you're a fan of shakes, go try it! It's the best! Craving one now. I'm so glad they opened an outlet in tampines. NOw there's choice! Haha. Another thing, i think i'm sick of banannas. Been suture-ing (sewing) bananna skins for surical lab for the past 2 weeks. Have bananna juice all around the lab and bananna mush too. Yee. Sick of them, staying away from them for awhile. We'll be getting real carcass' to suture soon, dogs from the pound again. My hands are going to smell of death again, 3 hours being crammed in the small animal holding unit with the smell again. NOT looking forward to it at all.

It's 4 mins to my one and only didi's, jeremy's birthday. Knew him from the VS/PL days. We've managed to stay in contact through the years. He's turning 18. I'm sure his girl and his friends will plan something really nice for him. Too bad i won't be seeing him to wish him personally. Talk about birthdays, i'll be turning 19 in 2 weeks. This is the last year of my teen-hood. After that it'll be the much dreaded big "2". 1st birthday without my mum. SUCKS. No more buffet dinner at some hotel. I don't want to have a buffet anyway. Reminds me of my mum. Oh well. What is a my birthday worth anyway. This is probably the 1st time in a long while i haven't planned for it. Usually i'd know what i want to get and do, but somehow, this year seems less special. *shrugz*

The sandman has just flown by, and i'm tired. Sleepy more like it. I want the weekend to come. wanna sleep in. Getting fat again. I can never finish complaining. I should write a book. "All you can complain about." I'd bet it'll work. Haha. Garfield coming out next week!!!! YAY!

My darling little sister, Aileen, came into my room just now to share her day with me. She was smiling from ear to ear. Haha. It's sweet. She went for a bbq with her friends and this guy, Gordon was there too. The have a mutual fancy but nothing is going on. So aileen was telling me about how he looks after her, how he always offers to pay and send her home. It's all very sweet. It made me think of my secondary school crush. Darren.

Darren was a guy i met online. If you used to frequent my school channel in IRC (times have changed, i know.), the nick Rockshox would not be foreign to you. It's still his nick now on icq. Rockshox, then, i thought it was such a cool, original, unpretentious nick. We would talk online every single day at 5pm, i would literally run home from school just to talk to him. We shared many many many hours online and many many many many conversations. Soon we took it from IRC to ICQ to leaving voicemails and alphanumerics (that time still pager ok) to having telephone conversations. I remember that at that time i didn't have a cordless phone at home, so i sat down on the floor everyday for 2 hours talking to him. We never ran out of conversation. We EVENTUALLY got down to meeting and things really hit off. Every morning he would page me before he went to school, he'd page me when he got back, he'd page me during his recess time, he's page me after dinner and he'd page before going to sleep. Those were wonderful wonderful wonderful times. Boy do i miss it. I was a young teen experiencing puppy love. All the times we met and gone out were nothing but joy. When things were going well with darren, i was always always always smiling. He never failed to tell me each time how great i look when i smiled. Sweet sweet words he gave me, empty promises he gave too. Darren was great. He made me feel like a million bucks! Well, too bad, we had to grow up. He grew up 1st i guess. Then it was over. Our friendship was never the same and can never be the same. But i'm glad that he's still in my life and that i'm sure that he'll listen if i ever need to talk to him. I don't know why i would ever need to talk to him but yeh. I felt so good seeing him in melbourne. I also felt very unpretty and inadequate. By good i mean warm and fuzzy. I think of him, his face, his smile, his laugh, and my heart is warm. He brings a sense of nostalgia. Darren was so perfect at that time. Yeh. I was young at that point of time.

Besides thinking of darren, i thought of jac and zhuang. There was this one time, jac brought me to meet zhuang before anything serious happened. She wanted my opinion. I remember it was after school at bugis. Both of us in our PL uniforms and zhuang in his ACS(i) uniform. ACS guys were a big deal in our time. I can't remember what we talked about or what we did. I remember that jac and zhuang were taking one of those neoprint cards and then he hugged her and asked her to be his girlfriend. She didn't answer him at that point of time and the neoprint wasn't all too flattering. I remember that we were stuck at bugis having lost track of time and panicking cause it was wayyyyy past my curfew. It was 7pm (in sec school 7pm out on a school day is very very late and i wasn't even allowed out after school). Jac was feeling soooo bad cause i was going to get skinned when i got home. I ended up lying to my mum that i had band practice. Then i remember her dad came down to bugis to fetch us home. Eventually after spending alot of time at the PUBLIC phone waiting for jac to talk to zhuang (she wasn't allowed to talk to boys at that time), they got together and are still together. It's been 4 years. Sure they've had their ups and downs, but after going round the circle, they're back together, stronger and happy, they love each other. That's so great right?

Of course the rest of them had their guys too, elaine had noel and a few others, felicia had kun kit and sean and a few minor ones, sharon had jensen, sheena had jeremy nah and joseph, Nat had alot to choose from, ALOT, but nothing serious, vanessa was.... not straight. haha. I walked through their break ups with them and it was more heartbreaking then than it is now i suppose. We've all grown up and matured emotionally, we now know what to expect and how to protect ourselves. We all learnt through our secondary school days. Thank goodness we had each other. My clique is the best! We rocked the school man! No one else had haagen daz ice cream for recess except us! No one had breakfast in school except us! Jac was the envy of many cause zhuang was from ACS. Man, thinking it back, i feel so old now. Haha. I really miss my clique, the way we were in our secondary school days. We would be one of those irritating loiterers at taka square, sitting down, bitching at eating. We would go to sentosa and get chao ta together. It was so fun! Secondary school days, i miss it, at the same time, i'm glad i left it.

Something really weird happened just now. My friend, my POLY friend, my 19 year old friend smsed me just now to asked me for my home address and telephone number because her mum is worried that she's coming over to my place tomorrow to do project. What's up with that man?! Lets think about this shall we. 1st, i am APPALLED that such policies are valid at this time and age. Even my younger sister's friend's parents don't do that when they come over to SWIM! ALAS! THEY MIGHT DROWN! *GASPS!* 2nd, she's 19 for crying outloud! She has a boyfriend! She goes out dating! Does her mum ask for the shopping mall's address and telephone number too? I mean she coming over for a PROJECT?! Does her mother think i'm going to kidnap her? I think we should do the project by the poolside, my dog could eat her! Oh wait, what if she falls into the pool?! The tragedy! Alright alright, i'm being evil and cynical and sarcastic all at the same time. But COME ON! Seriously, it's silly! Not that i don't want her to know my address or anything, but why do you need it?? I don't get it! Oh well, maybe one day if i become a parent i'll know. But she's 19 for crying out loud! She has a boyfriend! Her boyfriend's in our project group! Do you feel my confusion? Weird.

Anyway, it's the 5th day and my fever hasn't gone away. Shit. I'm waiting for ling to come pick me up in a cab to go for prata, she wants to have some. Supposed to go with the inner square as well, but no car, so transport is abit of a trouble... therefore they have all pulled out. Oh well.

I stayed home the whole day, so i quite want to go out. Spent the whole day watching sex and the city. I'm almost done with season 5. Now i have to figure how i'm going to get season 6 to watch. I think Ling is going to borrow it from her cousin, then we can watch it together! We're really passing our germs to and fro. We're both still sick but we're still meeting to go out anyway. The taxi uncle is going to fall sick too. Opps! She's taking awhile to come though. hmm. Tomorrow is sunday and i have a project meeting. How sad is that? We're doing a project on elephant surgery and anaethesia. Cool huh? Just wondering where we'll get info from. Good luck to us. We had actually wanted to do our project based on koalas, but the information is impossible to get! The internet ain't so useful afterall. I can't find anything useful on elephants either. Geez.

I think i better get ready to meet ling. I don't know where she is. By the way, i think i'm getting a new hp, but i don't know which one to get. Any suggestions? Tag me!

Why do men like to keep us women waiting for them in more ways than one. Know i was at the clinic today, i was the only one there, and the only reason why i would be at the clinic would be because i'm sick right? Know what the MALE doctor was doing? He was using those gigantic staplers to staple posters to the wall while i was just sitting there! 1. it was freaking noisy! Could you imagine if i was having a migrane?! 2. You're a doctor! how could you let a patient sit and watch you stapel stuff?! 3. how could you let a patient wait?! 4. he gave me antibiotics when it's clear that i wasn't having a bacterial infection. What's up with that man?!

I've spent 60 bucks this week at the doctors. This is probably the 1st time i've spent so much on something that doesn't involve food or fashion. Went to 2 doctors, one on wednesday and one today. Been sick for 4 days. Can't sleep. The fever just won't go away. Everytime i try to sleep, the fever peaks! Anyway, i hope i get better soon, it's affecting my lifestyle. Because i'm sick, i can't meet nat tonight cause i don't want her to get my germs. Szeling and i have beem passing our germs around to each other. We're both horribly ill. Missed 2 days of school this week, apparently i missed alot. For one thing we got back our test results. Did not too bad, but i failed one. Bpharm. 20.5 over 50. I'm not surprised and i'm not upset cause it was undeniable. Just hope to do better the next time.

Anyway, something worth mentioning, we had a cook-in at kiwi's place last night. There was esther and clay, szeling, fabian, me, kiwi and Dr Chang. I have to admit i didn't contribute much. I just cut the cucumber, peeled the prawns, boiled the soup and wash the dishes. Kiwi and Dr chang were like doing all the work i felt sooooo bad for being so useless in the kitchen. Dr Chang made us rice paper rolls with the sauce and all handmade, kiwi fried the fish and chips and made cake. It was interesting to see 2 men at work in the kitchen. Hmmz. I think i might need to improve on that aspect. Haha. Well, ling and I attempted to fry the fish but... ehh.. well.. it wasn't as good as kiwi's. Haha. Esther made these yummilicious mussels (i love shell fish!) and did the veggies. It was a GREAT meal. Props to kiwi and Dr chang for all that trouble. They cleaned up too. Felt so bad.

Dad's home from beijing. He came home and didn't even look at me to ask me if i was alright. He just sat down for 5 mins to unpack some stuff and went back off to work. hmph. Tell me why i bother anyway? Geez.

Oh oh! Know my jie just told me that embargo closed down?! Argh! It's such a nice bar!! Centro and Lola are gone too. Shucks. They're nice. Pity pity. Nvm, there's always SEMPANG! hahaha. How pathetic does that sound? Talk about prata, now that eggs and chicken are more expensive, i wonder what's left to buy in the market, soon we're all going to need multi vitamins. With the bird flu and the mad cow disease and who knows what will happen to pork and mutton, what will there be left to eat?! I refuse to survive on veggies. Yee.

Shopping. I need to shop. I got sabo-ed into doing this interview thingy by my group mates. It's a semi formal thing, so i have to dress up. NOTHING TO WEAR!! I always end up having to do these silly presentation things. Then i'll have to bring clothes to change cause i hate wearing formal and i have lab. Troublesome. Oh well. Hmm. Ok. I can't think of anything else. I miss my girlfriends! I miss jac too. But i think she's having a good time in NY. She adapts well. alright. Have to take my medicine. Next time!

HAH! I passed my napha!! Not bad huh! 3 years of being a slug and i still managed to pass! I'm so proud of myself. I'm impressed. Haha. I got silver. Anyway. The only reason why i'm able to blog is because i'm in esther's house waiting for her to finish changing so we can go for lunch. I woke up to go for 10am lecture only to realise that school was only 1 hour today, 10 to 11. All afternoon lectures have been cancelled because of graduation!! *SHIT* i wouldn't have woken up if i knew! Irritating. By the way, it's jac's birthday today, so wish her if you like! I miss her. It is also nat's 1st day in school today. Hope it went ok. Mmz. Szeling's back from malaysia! Yay! Will see her later. Can't wait! Alrighty. Just to boast about my napha results!! Hee hee. See ya!

How do you express interest in somebody without appearing interested? Things with Mr X were going great until Tuesday. After Tuesday, things seem to have lost their sizzle. Mr X had suddenly seemed to have loss interest. Perhaps i’m the one that’s not interesting in the first place. The vibe that seemed to be there at first has become so discreet i don’t seem to be getting one at all now. Not that i’m expecting anything, but things were going so well, and i was really rather looking forward for a chance of development. Then again, i’m never so lucky. We’ll see we’ll see. Though i know it’s kinda awkward when friends start getting interested in each other. Or maybe it’s just me being oversensitive AGAIN. I’m so good at being oversensitive. Oh well. We’ll just have to wait and see yarh?

The week has flown by, leaving me with dark circles and body ache. It’s the holidays man! Why am i getting dark rings. Well, i’ve been out till late almost everyday for one, just last night i was sitting at my pool side talking till almost 4am! Plus,i’m aching tremendously from napha on Wednesday which i highly suspect failure. I know for certain that i passed all my 5 stations, but i think i failed my 2.4. Then again, i didn’t really try, so oh well. Szeling got gold though. She’s a freak. A really fit one. Haha.

Had my Vet class bbq last night. It was a blast. Even though i was running around playing host (it was supposed to be OUR class bbq, suddenly it became MY bbq?), didn’t manage to get involve in too many conversations, i had a good time. I was busy looking out for Ruth who was sooooo high on alcohol, she was groping alden, which made me feel slightly uncomfortable, she was also groping ME which was even more uncomfortable. Silly girl, don’t know why she was drinking so much, don’t know why alden was letting her drink so much. Idiot. Anyway, the food was good, everything was finished by the end of the session. I’m getting good at organising bbqs huh! Haha. Dr Ren and Dr Chang came for the bbq and it was fun talking to them. Dr chang is so clever and insightful. He joined Esther, Kiwi, Fabian and I at the pool side for a chat until the wee hours. He shared his theory about women are like coconut trees and men at like teapots. It’s all very interesting, if you wanna know, ask me the next time you talk to me. You’ll be intrigued at how clever this man is. No wonder Esther wants to marry him. Haha. Then Dr chang was also saying how men are biologically built for polygamy. Know how my mood changed after hearing that? But by nature, it’s true. Animals are biologically “built” to be polygamous. Cause by SCIENCE, monogamous animals look alike, the males look like the females with example of certain birds. However, in most other cases, the males look obviously different from the females, true in the case of humans, and these are the animals which in nature are polygamous. Think about it logically. It’s true. What can i say? MEN!

Anyway, on Thursday, the inner square went to funan to have lunch. We were ALL aching from napha the day before. So, 4 of us were walking around like pregnant robots, groaning in pain each time we stood up or sat down. It was TRUELY agonising. I’m still aching up till now. See how unfit i am? I am NEVER going jogging again. There isn’t a need to. I’m never going take napha again, so what’s the point. Don’t look at me like that. I refuse to do something i dislike so deeply. Plus, muscle aches take too long to go away. I’m just going to be fat and unfit and spend the rest of my life complaining about it, so stop nagging.

Jac left on Wednesday. Was all sentimental and teary. But i swelled with pride. Alot of her friends were there to see her off. I realised how different i was was all of them. They were either the brainiacs or the tall, slim pretty ones. I was neither. Jac was both. I guess she’s my better half, and i wonder why we were bestest best friends through all our differences. We hardly agree on anything, we have completely different tastes in food, clothes, movies, music, guys, we hardly talk, yet we know each other through and through. She’s perfect in practically every way and i’m less than average. Funny that when you’re best of friends, you’re not even aware that you’re such an odd, funny pair. What can i say, I love her to bits. 16 years of friendship is has been. Cool huh. This would be the 1st time we’ll be celebrating our birthday’s apart. Guess it’ll be this way for the next 4 or 5 years. So missing my bestest friend now. Argh. Hate distance! It’s her birthday on Monday! Jac, you’ve got to wear the jacket on Monday okay...??? I’ll send you over a hug!!! Though i can’t catch the time difference. Email me or sms me soon ok??

Tomorrow’s Sunday, going to stay home and glue myself to the TV and watch Sex and the city!!! Jie bought the vcd’s!! YAY! I’m at season 3 now, it’s sooooo cool. The clothes and the shoes!!! Most importantly, they’ve got really good themes! Even though they really are quite trashy. Haha. Whoever wants to join me in watching it is welcome! I’m sure Nat’ll want to watch. I miss nat.. She’s going to be so busy with school soon i’m going to see her alot less (not that i’m seeing her alot now). Will go over some nights to veg out and watch tv. I like spending time like that with nat. It’s nice. Hee. It’ll be back to school for both Nat and I one Monday. NOT looking forward to it and feeling the Monday blues already. Sian. Ok. Will keep you posted! Hopefully my comp allows it. Ta!

Alright everybody, i'm really sorry for the lack of update in recent times. My computer is dead and my internet connection is pretty much trashed. I'm at Esther's house now actually. And her kit kat is demanding my attention, he's sitting right in front of the keyboard, obstructing my typing. Ow! he's just given me a bite of affection. He's a cat by the way.

Well, i guess the most significant event of the week is this, Jac is leaving TODAY. Tonight rather. Man, i'm bummed. Will be at the airport to see her off. I know she'll do well, and best wishes to her. Just hope the distance will not be a hurdle to us. Jac, just remember that i'm here for you, although i'm at the other end of the globe and that i love you much much much. *sigh* Wish she didn't have to leave. Did you hear my heart shatter? It just did.

Anyway, I have to go for napha in 40mins time. I am so going to fail. Nevermind larh, i'm not going to army, so it actually doesn't really matter. Oh well. Lets see where i left off... HMM.. ZOO! It was pretty interesting i must say, Dr Ren's girlfriend. Yeh, he brought her to show off i suppose. I've said this so many times, but i just have to say it again.. She's really booby!!! It's spilling out of her very low, very skimpy top!!! No. I am NOT biased. It's true. Ask esther. But she is pretty, it's undeniable. Gorgeous eyes, long, thick black lashes, sharp nose, shapey thin lips, flawless complexion. Basically, she made me feel highly inadequet. Oh well. She was the most interesting subject that day. Haha. I wouldn't say they look god together, but they're both good looking and rich, you picture it yourself.

Sunday, went to watch the Notebook with szeling, i cry and cry and cry and szeling laugh at me although she also cry. Pooey. It's a really good show, go catch it if you haven't. I will be going to catch it again with Kiwi on saturday. Prepare the tissue. Haha. After the show, we didn't do much, just went to eat and shop around abit, then i went home for dinner. Well, sunday night was nice, i went to meet jac in town to pass her the thing i bought for her. She liked it, so i was glad. But we didn't stay long cause she has to be home early and zhuang was coming to fetch her. Kiwi was with us too, so we went to szeling's place, he wanted to have bak chor mee. So we sat and he ate, eventually we went to east coast park to take a walk. It would have been very romantic if there were less people, but the place was PACKED! Don't know why. We didn't do much, just sit and talk. It was comfortable. Later we went home, then i spoke to dennis, think both of us were talking rubbish cause we were both so zonked. Heh. But it's always nice talking to dennis. Don't know why.

Monday was National day!!! Got all dressed up and went down to Embargo with my inner square and Esther's Clay. Jon backed out halfway, leaving ling to be quite annoyed. It was nice, managed to catch the fireworks. Dennis was so nice to sms me to tell me when it was, otherwise i might have missed it. We sat around until 9 then we decided to go to Nat's place to have prata and i wanted to see my dearest meizi. Got awfully lost, thank goodness fenny is good with directions and that Kiwi's a steady driver. We got there safe and in one piece. Hung around and played with Paris and Nicky! They're so sweet!! Didn't manage to stay long cause fenny had to go back. It was a nice day, thought most of it was spent doind absolutely nothing and the other half was just spent eating. Then again, what is new?

Went to school for like 5 mins yesterday for project meeting, then esther and i met kiwi for lunch. Then they both went marketing while i went to meet szeling at TM (yes, say it, my life is dull) We hung around and szeling bought her shorts to wear to Napha. Then we came back to my house to nua. We really just did nothing. Watch singapore idol and laugh at the contestants. Bad huh. But Then, esther called and after that, i had something to think about. Hee hee. Then later in the night we went jogging, szeling, esther, kiwi and me. mmmz. Oh yes, i have just been reminded to include this bit of information.. ESTHER'S SHEPARDS PIE IS EXCELLENT! Shiok a doo doo babe~! Make more next time ok..? I'll finish it for ya!

Ok, i will have to go to school now. Napha. I'm going to fail, but i don't care!!! Ah hah. I know i did a really lousy job with this blog entry, but that's really what i can remember. Haha. Alright, till the next time. I got to go for 2.4 now. Shit. At 3pm. Morons.

What a week! I'm glad it's over. My entire brain capacity has been used up by the amount of studying i have been doing this week. Tests have been running and boy am i glad it's over. Today's my last paper. I was bad. Really. I was like writting rubbish through out the entrie paper, making up my own definitions and my own protocols and my own treatment for various anaesthetic mishaps. Just let me get a borderline pass and i'll be a satisfied girl. The one that was REALLY bad was Bpharm. I don't know how to describe the paper. Lets just that the probability that i will pass is 0%. As a consolation, szeling said. "Bpharm arh, 100% casualties. 80% fatalities." I just hope i'm the casualty and not the fatality. Szeling took it last sem and i guess it was just as bad. Shit. The worst thing is, i spent the ENTIRE night studying with my inner square at Kiwi's house!!! Until 2am ya know!!!! Darn Bpharm, freaking waste of my time and sleep. Oh well. It's over, as i always say, don't bring what's inside the exam room out. Leave it in there and LET IT ROT! Stinking piece of term test! I will be back with a vengence!!! *growls*

I just got home from town actually. I drove Esther down to meet Clay (her bf). She was quite panicky cause she was late and probably going to have a hard time pacifying him. So being the nice person i am, i drove her there so she wouldn't be tooooo late. Plus i got myself home after that in one piece, thank God. I'm quite tired actually, lucky traffic wasn't too bad. See, before that we had lunch. DR REN treat us!! HEE HEE HEE HEE. Not just esther and I but a couple of us. We went to TM for BK. He's so nice.. wanted to have a post term test treat with us! Must have been feeling guilty for setting such a shit paper!!! But of course i forgive him. Hee hee. He bought chocolates for us too! Not the cheapo kind ok... the assorted type that comes in those boxes. Hee hee hee. He's soooooo cute!! Anyway, i drove the few of us down to TM for lunch, Dr ren was going to drive too. But since his is a sports coupe, he could only sit one more passenger, and Joel raised his hand faster than you could say SLUT! He's fighting with me for Dr Ren!!!! When he comes over to my house for bbq on friday... i'll poison his chicken wing!!!! Irritating. Of course at BK, he HAD to sit at the same table as Dr Ren. Ass. I tell you, if Dr ren turns out to be gay (which i'm sure he isn't) i'll just die!!! All motivation for me to go to school will be gone!!! Darn Joel. I'm going to poison his chicken wing!!!!

Should i nap? But i have to drive back to school in abit to pass szeling the stuff she left at my house. I'm the driver today. Drove to school, drove esther home to get the form she forgot, drove back to school to pass up the form, drove to TM, drove to town, drove home, driving back to school, driving home, driving to the zoo later, driving home, driving to fetch my inner square and Dr Chang for supper, driving to sempang, driving them back, driving home, then tomorrow driving to the zoo. Know what.. i just reminded myself of someone... i'm becoming like DENNIS! I guess behaviour is contagious. Haha. But i'm really quite tired. Slept quite badly. Slept for about 2 hours, woke up at 5.30am to call dennis to wake him up (yes, he's in oz), went back to sleep, an hour later, szeling smsed me to ask me to bring her calculator, replied her and went back to sleep. An hour after that, Nat smsed me to tell me she's going driving and that her mouth aches. I went back to sleep for another hour, woke up to revise my work then went to school. See. Didn't sleep too well. But i was quite satisfied cause Seth is FINALLY decided on dating Anna!! Don't know what i'm talking about...? It's the best show ever on TV! O.C! Seth is sooooooo cute and Anna is so pretty and i prefer her over Summer, but Summer is being an annoying prick. It's a good show!! Catch it! I'm in love with Seth!! I got Dennis hooked on it too.. i think. Haha. Watch it! I'm sure you'll be hooked too. It's lots of making out, nice clothes, nice shoes and handsome faces!!! Don't think the girls are pretty though, besides Anna. Now i got to wait 7 more days for the next episode. Sian.

On a lower note, Jac's leaving in 5 days. I haven't even had quality time with her. Looks like i won't be going to. Will just see her at the airport. I'm thinking of what will be special enough to give her, though i know nothing will be as special as her Zhuang, but i can try right? Though my brain is not really working. I'll have to dream something up. Hate it when people leave HATE IT! Talk about leaving, my Jie left for Hong Kong this morning with her bf and his family. Hope she has a fantastic time and buy back lots of goodies for me!!! Hee hee. OH OH!!! I have just been told that Gerald reads my blog. *pao smile* Hi Gerald! *waves!* Did you miss me..?? Huh huh huh?? Haha. Tag me if you see this, i need proof! Haha.

Alrighty, my senses are failing me now, i need to nap. Super sleepy. Got to drive to school to meet ling in awhile so i'm just going to catch a couple of minutes. Dream about Dr Ren and how i'm going to poison joel's chicken wing!!!! OTAY. I'll be back!

OK! Blog fast fast, fast fast! I have about 200 pages of notes to study by tonight, but because i'm feeling so unmotivated, i will blog first and make myself feel guilty for coming online and then force myself to study. *AHCHOO!* Sorry, i'm allergic to bullshit. Even my own. *AHCHOO!* That's my allergy to studying. Hmm... lets see...

Transexuals, admire them or despise them? Perhaps indifference. "Private Parts". Thought provoking. A comedy that brought me to the brink of tears. Clever script and comic puns kept me at the edge of my seat. The storyline made me realise how brave transexuals are. To ignore the searing eyes and poisonous words of the society, to go ahead with a life changing desicion, to become a man from a woman or a woman from a man. Many people are unhappy with themselves, but i never understood how people could be THAT unhappy, to go for a sex change. Perhaps they were born with a hormone imbalance. Other than that, i cannot think why anyone would want to be a transexual. Sure, you could be a closet gay, but to be a tansexual? Wow. Could you even say the word? Which would you find more disturbing? Finding out that your husband/wife is a closet gay/lesbian or that he/she is a transexual. I think for me, i find the former more disgusting. I couldn't live with it. Then comes the question tha was asked by the character in the play, "could you love a person like me?" Could you? Could you love a transexual? Yes, i think i could. I'm not saying this for the sake of answering the question, i thought about it, and yes, i truely believe i could. Could i MARRY a transexual? That i cannot answer, for i reckon, i could live with my decision. Love has got nothing to do with marriage, and marriage has got nothing to do with love, hence, i will not put the subjects together. The play was good. It really was. I wouldn't even mind watching it again.

Crisis took over after the play, my mood was brought to pit bottom. Having to come home and see him, making everything so matter of fact and so indifferent sometimes just makes me sick. You brought it upon yourself and upon us. Give me one good reason for me to forgive you. I practically grew up without him, what makes things different now? I was tired and cranky, was feeling so out of sorts i actually stayed up to study. Thinking that i could have been at embargo with Ling just made me even more grumpy. But NO. I had to come home because of something that had NOTHING to do with me. My life is screwed up by something that doesn't involve me. How on earth did i manage that? What do i life for? The future? Where is that? Who do i live for? Myself? I'm not living my life. I'm dragging it along with me. This is not the way i want my life to be, but did i have a choice? NO. So shut up already. Dennis was a such a sweetheart, he called me all the way cause he knew i was down, even when i told him not to. He was so tired and zonked but he called anyway. Life takes somethings away from you, but gives you something else that's worthwhile. Now, the question is, "is life worthwhile?". I could be diplomatic and tell you, it is if you make it out to be. The truth is, i don't have money to make it out to be, i don't have love to make it out to be, i don't have brains to make it out to be, so don't give be that kind of bullshit. I told you, i'm allergic.

What is round, red and biconcave? Answer: A normal red blood cell. Now why do i say normal, cause an abnormal red blood cell maybe deficient in any of those features. Blood donation, a process that lasts aproximately 15 mins. A thick, lethal looking needle with a trunk size barrel is inserted into a pulsating blood vessel, ie, the vien. Blood then is pulled via capillary action into a sterile plastic bag that is coated with anticoagulant. Szeling was feeling weak and slightly faint after the process but dawn was perfectly fine. She thinks that szeling needs to eat more and be nutriently supplimented. She recommends that szeling should come to her house more often to have dinner so that Linda may feed her with all the nutrients found in food that Szeling hates. Then perhaps, next time szeling goes to donate blood, she will not be feeling weak and suspected to weigh less than 45kg. Not that that is a bad thing. Now, why is dawn talking in 3rd person? Hmm. She does not know, perhaps her brain is dysfuctional from all the studying which she is yet to do.

After blood donation, Dawn took a cab to Kiwi's house to study. Kiwi's mother was at home and made much food to eat. Therefore, out of a polite gesture, dawn had to finish all the food that was offered to her although she was actually feeling rather full, fat and ugly. Do not be mistaken, the food was good, just that the same may not be said about dawn's figure. But, if your friends mother offers you food, you should always accept, otherwise it's be rude and dawn is a polite girl. *Ahchoo!* Besides studying, dawn was also showing off her new digital camera to kiwi. Yes, she is probably one of the last few people on earth to get one, but it does not matter. It is better late than never. However, it is never good to show off, but under such circumstances, dawn does not care. Ah hah. After showing off, it was the journey home. Being a lazy slug that she is, dawn slept from 9.30pm to 8.30 this morning, procrastinating her revision. However, it turns out that the paper wasn't too horrific and hence she was thankful.

At 11.45pm, Dawn was stuck at question 2. She was thinking, "who da hell would know the answer to this question?!" She turned to her right, apparently, kiwi did. She cursed under her breath. "Trouble shooting of a cloning experiment, who knew and who cared?!" Again she turned to her right, apparently kiwi did. Under her breath again she muttered, "7 marks gone down the drain." She hears the ruffling of papers, this time she turns to her left and sees Esther and Fenny leaving the room, they beckon for dawn to come out too. Dawn turns back to her right to look at kiwi and sees him looking at her half filled question 2. He looks alittle worried and lifts his answer for her viewing. His gesture was very much appreciated, however, kiwi's handwriting is hard on the eyes and not much could be made out of his words. Dawn decides to leave the room to join Esther and Fenny in the toilet to Kao Peh about the paper. In 5 mins, 3 girls were standing infront of the mirror, complaining about their hair and discussing the paper and urging for kiwi to come out quickly so that they could go and eat.

CSAS paper was shortly after lunch, it was a complete waste of time. It was an hour long paper but was completed in 15mins, the next 15mins was spent shaking leg in the Lt waiting for the 1st half hour to pass before we could leave the Lt. The car was packed today with dawn's Kahkis and Ling, drove her kahkis home and Ling went over to dawn's house to nua and play with the new camera. They had a pretty good time. Ling never knew that dawn could play the piano! We all learn something new everyday. Ling left around dinner time and dawn promised herself to study after dinner. Surprise surprise. Jared called dawn. You would think it was because he missed her. Chey. He called to ask her where the ATM was located in eastpoint. Hmm. He was there with his girlfriend. The sweetness in his voice when he said "my girlfriend" sent a diabetic rush through dawn's veins and decided that she had better keep the conversation short. The next time dawn goes over to nat's place, she will call jared, then they can all comemorate the 1st time they had tarik.

Alas it is late and the 200 pages of notes await (eh, it rhymes!). The maiden shalt have to depart her blog to attend to her pending duties. Thou hath crapped much and shalt halt this senseless chatter. Return to thy notes, it is ordered. Alas it hath come to the end of this crap, again we shall exchange our chatter. For now, return to study thou must. OK! DAWN SHUT UP! YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT!